Novocastrian Tales
Close Encounters XI
Ignorance was walking down the street when he met Knowledge. ‘How will you vote in the referendum?’ Knowledge asked. ‘What referendum?’ Ignorance replied. ‘The referendum to recognise Aboriginal people in the Constitution by granting them a VOICE,’ Knowledge explained. ‘Do we have a constitution?’ Ignorance asked. ‘YES,’ Knowledge explained. ‘And if you believe in the Fair Go you’ll vote YES.’ ‘I don’t know about an Aboriginal VOICE, mate,’ Ignorance said. ‘I’m confused, what’s the VOICE of Ignorance saying about it? I mean, Ignorance has made Australia great! Ignorance built this country, mate.’ ‘Well, you tell me,’ Knowledge invited. ‘I’m saying
Close Encounters X
Close Encounters X Paul F Walsh Ignorance was walking down the street when he met Knowledge. ‘You can shove that treaty shit, mate,’ Ignorance said. ‘That’s unAustralian, mate! Bloody divisive!’ ‘So, you don’t think that Australia is divided already?’ Knowledge asked. ‘NO, mate, except for you whinging YES people,’ Ignorance said. ‘Some of your NO supporters want a treaty,’ Knowledge advised. ‘Do they?’ Ignorance asked. ‘YES,’ Knowledge confirmed. ‘I didn’t know that,’ Ignorance admitted. ‘There’s a lot you don’t know,’ Knowledge revealed. ‘Does it worry you that you’re in agreement with far-right Neo-Nazis and far-left Conspiracy Theorists?’ ‘Now, you’re
Close Encounters IX
Ignorance was walking down the street when he met Knowledge. ‘What’s so scary about an advisory group that only has the power to be heard?’ Knowledge asks. ‘You’re trying to trick me,’ Ignorance replied. ‘We know your agenda, mate?’ ‘But do you know your own?’ Knowledge asked. ‘You’re a bloody know-all, mate!’ Ignorance declared. ‘Wanker rhymes with banker, and I hate them too.’ ‘So, you hate Knowledge,’ Knowledge observed. ‘And yet you claim a knowledge of my agenda.’ ‘You want to paint me as a racist, that’s your agenda, mate,’ Ignorance said. ‘So, how do you explain that some Aborigines
Close Encounters VIII
Ignorance was walking down the street when he met Knowledge. ‘I am very strong,’ Ignorance said. ‘We are the majority.’ ‘I know that you think that,’ Knowledge said, ‘but when you multiply ignorance you get divisive weakness rather than unifying strength.’ ‘Says who,’ Ignorance demanded. ‘Knowledge,’ Knowledge responded. ‘I’m avoiding you in future, mate!’ Ignorance declared. ‘Listening to you is like being mugged.’ ‘So, you don’t like the sound of my VOICE?’ Knowledge challenged. ‘I’m voting NO to shut you up!’ Ignorance blared through his megaphone. ‘And I’m voting YES to give Knowledge a VOICE!’ Knowledge quietly replied.
Close Encounters VII
Ignorance was walking down the street when he met Knowledge. ‘A YES vote would divide us, mate,’ Ignorance said. ‘We’re all equal here in Australia, mate, even the Aborigines.’ ‘So, you’re voting NO to maintain your equality with Aborigines?’ Knowledge asked. ‘Well, when you put it like that …’ Ignorance hesitated. ‘I’m a little bit more equal than they are.’ ‘So, you’re voting NO to maintain your superiority over Aborigines,’ Knowledge observed. ‘You’re not hearing me, mate,’ Ignorance responded. ‘Well, what are you afraid of?’ Knowledge persisted. ‘I don’t want them to take my house and backyard,’ Ignorance admitted. ‘So,
Close Encounters VI
Ignorance was walking down the street when he met Knowledge. ‘Have you ever spoken to an Aborigine?’ Knowledge asked. ‘NO!’ Ignorance replied, ‘but I know all about them, mate.’ ‘So, you’ve never actually heard an Aboriginal VOICE speaking to you?’ Knowledge asked. ‘NO!’ Ignorance grinned. ‘I’m a true Aussie, mate. Why would I listen to an Aborigine?’ ‘Well, maybe you could learn from an Aborigine,’ Knowledge suggested. Ignorance was so stunned that he lost his VOICE. And he started running away. He was screaming inside. And he ran away from Knowledge as fast as Ignorance could go.
Close Encounters V
Ignorance was walking down the street when he met Knowledge. ‘Don’t say a word!’ Ignorance warned. ‘You’re not mugging me again with all your elite talk!’ ‘It’s raining,’ Knowledge observed. ‘Share my umbrella.’ ‘NO!’ Ignorance roared. ‘Just shut up! I don’t want to listen to you!’ ‘But you’ll get wet!’ Knowledge said. ‘I hate the sound of your VOICE!’ Ignorance shouted. ‘You elites are always talking and never listening to the likes of me.’ ‘So, you’re saying NO to my VOICE to prove to me that you have a VOICE too?’ ‘Now you’re getting it,’ Ignorance said. ‘Well, we
Close Encounters IV
Ignorance was walking down the street towards his car when he met Knowledge. ‘You should always drive on the left-hand side of the road,’ Knowledge advised. ‘There’s nothing left about me, you woke, leftie bastard!’ Ignorance declared. And that night, Ignorance woke in the hospital thinking that he really should have said YES to Knowledge’s advice. Copyright Paul F Walsh 2023
Close Encounters III
Ignorance was walking down the street when he met Knowledge. ‘If you don’t know, vote NO!’ Ignorance said. ‘But I do know,’ Knowledge replied. ‘Well, you best vote YES then, I reckon,’ Ignorance declared. ‘Exactly,’ Knowledge agreed, ‘but now you know too.’ ‘How do you figure that?’ Ignorance asked. ‘I know you know because you’ve been standing here talking with Knowledge.’ ‘That’s why I’m now voting YES!’ Ignorance whispered for fear his friends might hear him. ‘YES!’ Knowledge agreed. Copyright Paul F Walsh 2023
Close Encounters II
Ignorance was walking down the street when he met Knowledge. ‘You think you know it all, don’t you?’ Ignorance said. ‘Well, yes,’ Knowledge replied. ‘You don’t know what I don’t know,’ Ignorance challenged. ‘I do, actually,’ Knowledge declared. ‘Well, what I don’t know is in charge of my decision-making.’ ‘I know that too,’ Knowledge noted. ‘Let me ask you a question.’ ‘What!’ Ignorance shouted. 'Are you proud of not knowing?’ Knowledge asked. ‘Hell, YES!’ Ignorance replied. ‘So, I now know that you can do it,’ Knowledge observed. ‘Do what?’ Ignorance was confused. ‘Say YES!’ Knowledge said. ‘Of course, I