This tale is a chiller rather than a thriller. The fact that I survived this encounter is evidenced by my continuing existence. Or … is it? Am I really the same person now? Is Lord Staffador, Chester the Jester himself, still the same doggo? He is resting on the end of our bed like a small horse, but he is saying nothing. And yet, this chilling tale begins and ends with him. It was a dark, chilly, moonlit night. Chester began barking at 3am. This was unusual. Lord Staffador could have been the inspiration for the dog that did not

1 ‘The Prime Minister has disappeared in New... (static, static, static) …’ ‘Strewth!’ Tracker reacted. ‘Did you hear that?’ ‘What?’ Bluey was studying his form guide. ‘The radio! Holy smoke! They reckon the Prime Minister’s done a runner in Newcastle.’ ‘All bets are off, then,’ Bluey said. ‘I wouldn’t have backed her anyway.’ The Federal election was in full swing and the disappearance of the Prime Minister was inspiring a frenzy of media speculation, but the patrons of the Fleapit Hotel knew only what they could glean from each other and Fatso’s 1960s transistor. ‘… (static, static, static) …’ Fatso

The Green Nutter I hear them mutter and yet they cannot see that everything she says or does is in the beauty of a tree   The Green Nutter I hear them cry and yet they cannot hear that everything they say or do is in the echo of her tear   The two teenagers were wearing their Year 12 jerseys. They were sitting under a shady fig tree in Lambton Park. The boy carried the legend Narc on his jersey while the girl boasted Echo on her jersey. ‘This bloody heat sucks,’ the boy said. ‘Bloody heat sucks!’ The

It was during the K9 virus pandemic that we made a momentous decision. No less a doggo than Lord Staffador, Chester the Jester himself, had suggested that we purchase a companion human from the Lost Humans Home. Being an Irish wolfhound named Michael Collins and a Mexican chihuahua named Pancho Villa we were gay canine revolutionaries with no biological puppies of our own. Due to the stress of social distancing and being locked down in our kennels for an indefinite period of time, Lord Staffador issued us with a special travel permit on the grounds of nurturing our mental and

Alan hated school with a passion. School sucked. School was so far behind his own thinking, and school clearly wanted to keep him harnessed to a past that was no longer relevant. Even the school uniform was a statement of just how uniform the school expected him to be. Alan attended a private school on a high hill that had a view of everything, and a view on everything, with little original understanding attached. The school had been selected on the basis of pretension because that is how Alan’s mum chose everything; including Alan’s name, of course. Alan was named

The inversion pandemic was truly terrifying. Intelligent people became dumb while dumb people became intelligent. Rich people became poor while poor people became rich. But would the right-wing, conservative, capitalist government become a left-wing, progressive, socialist government? That was the question on the minds of the dumb and intelligent alike as the Prime Minister rose to speak. There was much speculation that politicians had developed a herd immunity to the inversion virus. Nevertheless, the government had built a virus-proof fence around the parliament, and the government had closed all state borders, including the state of denial. The Prime Minister was